everything felt okay when you could curl up next to her, listening to her talk to her marvelous friends. Not caring much about what either party was jabbering about. Mainly because she covered your ears for any of the juicy stuff that you didnt know much about but felt included when you could laugh along with the girls. Just picking at that stray string on her hem and feeling the vibrations from her laugh when your ear was pressed flush to her chest. No matter how loud or how scary, you felt safe. Now, your the other party, no one covers your ears for the innappropriate things in the conversation, you now have to put effort into a relationship. If you said nothing like before, something must be wrong or your drifting away if your not laughing and chatty. Your mother is still your mother but plays an entirely different roll, expected advice giver instead of super hero... Everything changed and you cant quite pin point when, you craved indipendence and now you have it, your safety isnt found in arms but in the big lock on the front door.
